It's all about me

March 1, 2018

I finally figured out why some of my college classes annoy me so much. Now, I know I'm not the typical. I'm older (shhh), I have over 16 years of job experience, I've already decided what I want to do with my life, and I'm pretty much doing what I want with my life - I'm just gaining the technical training and a degree.


That said, it's difficult taking a class that is trying to guide me towards my career goals. I'm taking personality tests, trying to "decide" what kind of job I'd like after graduation, and living through mock job interviews to prove I'm serious about being a grownup and making money. Okay, I get it. If I was straight out of high school, this stuff would be very handy. The thing is... it's all about me. And that's what gets me.


A question on a recent assignment asked me what my most important career related question was. I happened to be at my mom's house as I did homework (I get free wifi and supper... can't beat that), and I read the question aloud to her. She joked that I should say, "Is this what God wants me to do with my life?" I knew that's not what my teacher wanted to see. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that IS my most important career related question. I wound up writing, "Is this career path in line with God's will for my life?" I don't know what my teacher will think of it - I haven't had the assignment graded yet, but I felt that was the most honest answer I could give.


But here's the thing. I'm (trying to be) God-focused. I want to do what He wants me to do. I am not about the almighty dollar. I honestly hate money. I hate that I need it to survive, I don't like earning it, and I especially don't like asking for it. But in this class, it's all about what I want to do with my life. How much money I want to make. In another class, we're focusing on business as a whole. Everything from entrepreneurship to multi-billion dollar corporations, to foreign trade, to inventory. But it's all about "success," as in financial success - or at least what the world views as success. And that is so not me.


I know I'm different. I know my goal of just living day to day and relying on God's grace isn't what most people aspire to do. My definition of "success" is very different than others'. It's hard sometimes to take these classes that focus on worldly standards of success. I don't slough off. I do the assignments and I work hard at them. But I don't compromise my personal standards.


Now that I know why I'm so bothered by some of these classes, I can better handle them and react appropriately. It's just interesting - something that makes me go, "Hmmm..."






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